The Glass is Mostly Full

"Another intro post?" said each subscriber, independently.

Recently I told myself, “Ryan, you need to write more things to earn your supposed title” and so I marched over to my nearest indoor mall (choose your own nostalgic imagery) and said, again to myself because my iMessages weren’t going through, “I shall buy a small diary with the tiniest padlock that could be snipped with safety scissors and the littlest key that I’ll lose before I get home.” But there was no Limited Too on the directory because those all closed in 2008. My next logical step was to start a Substack newsletter, a common stop for the internet-and-culture-obsessed-30-something in crisis, and begin my inbox-spamming era.

Should probably go to urgent care bc I woke up and absolutely bonked my head and decided to attempt to gain a follower-count-from-zero in a new space.

Earnestly, something switched in my brain in the last year-ish to say the only way to get attention on the internet is to be vain because no one will notice (read: hire) me otherwise. As a non-actor creative and also a known middle child, it’s a little out of my comfort zone! But I’m working on it in the form of posting more images of my face and thoughts from my brain!

Here is my train of thought, roughly in order:

1. How do I get hired to write things?

2. I should write my own things.

3. I tried it on Tumblr for 6 minutes with 6 followers in 2013.

4. Maybe I should reuse that blog title — I can’t think of anything better.

5. It’s cute but too long.

6. Stew over Substack title for days and days (and days) [and days].

7. Have a snack (fruit, beacon of health).

8. Have a second snack (Trader Joe’s “Scandinavian Swimmers”, derived from fruit, beacon of health).

9. Write about snacks (subscribe for that future piece).

10. Write list of my train of thought, roughly in order.

11. Shelve this whole idea for 2 months.

12. Publish/post/advertise to other social media platforms.

You probably got here because I posted a picture of myself with a self-deprecating caption (I have a brand to uphold after all). And to catch you up, I’m a serial optimist, sometimes annoyingly, and I’ve never subscribed to the binary of seeing life as a glass half empty or half full. So welcome to Mostly Full. (And at any given moment my tummy is mostly full of snacks; double meaning, sweetie.)

This will hopefully be a space where I wrangle bullet points trapped in my notes app— honey you can just imagine how much that app is bursting with HUNDREDS of BRILLIANT-and-HILARIOUS bits; at some point, one’s ego just says “hey you should publish these somewhere but longer, more ranty, less structure”. But I am thankful you subscribed, and thankful if you stay subscribed after this “first post” is actually just expanding on the newsletter announcement/intro. “Hey Ryan, write something of value please!” Okay soon. Stay tuned for culture (why Succession was mid at best for me, maybe?), fun facts extrapolated out into too-long essays (I’m keeping a list of fun facts I’ve learned from TikTok!), and of course recommendations with no theme (starting below)!

Tbh, I’m on this journey as well, figuring this out as I go, as the work is not done with the invention of a cheeky title (unfortunately, this seems to be true with screenwriting as well). Tbh-again, I am not sure the range of this newsletter, and I for sure don’t know the cadence (I am not disciplined enough yet to promise a new issue every week)— sticking with the honesty theme!

Lotta jokes stockpiled about Lactaid.

I hope you stick around, share, or print this out to hang on your dart board, etc etc. as I do what I can to trick my friends and family and followers into thinking about me more— Now in your inbox below that Anthropologie coupon (it’s a great spot for Christmas gifts!!!) and something your dad sent that was supposed to be a text.

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Sticking with the metaphor of a glass mostly full, may I recommend a glass of cold apple juice?

via stock image search; an apple slice with the core in tact seems like a complicated garnish.

In 2021, I had a minor procedure which required general anesthesia 💤💤 However, upon coming back to reality, the lovely nurse offered me graham crackers and a little apple juice (with some medical reasoning re: sugar). And ever since, I have sought out apple juice at the grocery store, on airplanes, at restaurants (gussied it up recently by ordering it with ginger; I did not know the purpose but I pretended it was a burning immunity boost). If you’re reading this and saying “no I’m too old and sophisticated”— remove your monocle and try some and have a better day because of it.